Journaling: Top 10 Topics to Include in Your Personal Journal

WHY JOURNAL IN THE FIRST PLACE?

When beginning a new journal, many people ask, “What do I write about?” Well, here are some ideas to include in your journal, or at least some ideas to think about. But first, let's talk about journaling a little and how it benefits us.

Journaling helps us relieve stress and anxiety. The actual form of writing can be very calming as your fingers and your brain are focused on, well, writing. Writing has a tendency to bring us into a zone. A zone where nothing else exists but you and that page and what you are discussing with your journal. Mentally removing yourself from the world. This can be very beneficial to the brain functions, similarly to when we play games such as Sudoku, puzzle games, other any other game that makes you focus. I'm not talking about mindless video games here either. I'm simply referring to thinking games that improve brain function.

The best way to journal is in an actual writing journal. The act of writing in itself has many benefits including hand-eye coordination, memory, neuron dendrite connections and re-wiring the brain to thinking in a more positive manner rather than a negative one. You can also doodle and draw things that "pop-up". This can be a fun activity you add to your journal. Not to mention that scientists have found that doodling also helps improve brain function and memory. However, in today's world the majority of us are using tablets, computers, our phones, etc. Journaling in any manner is very beneficial to both our physical and mental bodies and can help reduce potential dementia and Alzheimer's diseases in the future. So, however you do it, at least you are doing it. You may start out using a computer or tablet and decide you want to move onto using an actual paperbound journal book or you may start out with a paperbound book and find it easier to keep up with a tablet or something. Whatever the case may be is totally your choice and whatever makes it easier for you. The point here is to make it fun and enjoyable, not a chore or yet one more activity I have to add to my list of things to do.

Ok, so now, you have a blank page in front of you and your mind goes blank. What should I about? What actually happened today? I've been so busy doing, I can't even remember half of what I did.

Well, to help you out, I've compiled a list of a few questions to ask yourself that might help joggle your memory. Some questions on the list might help you stop and think about the actions that you took today and ways to improve on those actions as well. Creating a more positive forward thinking in the future rather than letting negative thoughts and actions run our daily lives. Because we all know that sometimes the smallest things can set us off. Sometimes just the copy machine being out of ink in the morning can cause a downhill spiral of negative thoughts and actions. Journaling can help relieve that stress and even help you discover ways to create a more positive reaction to life's daily ups and downs.

Helpful Tips:

1. For important ideas: Let's say your writing along and you come up with an awesome idea for something and you jot it down in your journal. Tape or glue something that reminds you of that idea to the page like a permanent bookmark.

2. Doodle often, draw out your feelings too. Add color, paste pictures, be a kid again.

TOP 10 TOPICS TO INCLUDE IN YOUR JOURNALING EXPERIENCE

Think about what you are grateful for. What good thing happened today? Discuss all the good things that happened today.

1. What happened?

2. Why did it happen?

3. How did it happen?

4. What were the results?

5. How did it make you feel?

6. Is there anything you’d like to change about this?

Give praise reports.

1. Who are you giving praise to?

2. What happened?

3. What did this person do?

4. How did it happen?

5. What were the results?

6. Is there anything you’d like to change about this?

7. How did it make you feel?

Did you wrong someone today?

1. Write about what you did.

2. Why was it wrong to do it?

3. Who did it harm? If any.

4. Why did you do it in the first place?

5. What did you think you were going to accomplish by doing it?

6. What steps can you take in the future to keep this action from happening again?

Did something happen today that you just need to vent about?

1. What happened?

2. How did this make you feel?

3. Why did it happen? What ideas do you have that caused this action?

4. Who is involved?

5. Why do you think they did this?

6. Who did it really harm? If any.

7. What do you think they wanted to accomplish by doing/saying this?

8. What was your reaction?

9. How did it (your reaction) make you feel?

10. What did you do/say in reaction to their action?

11. Was this the proper reaction to have?

12. Was it a positive response or a negative response?

13. What did you accomplish by doing/saying it?

14. Did it create a positive or negative effect on the situation?

15. Are there any steps you can take in the future to keep this action from happening again (if a negative reaction was taken)? What steps should you take if this happens again in the future?

16. Is there another reaction you feel would have been better to take to change the situation into a positive situation?

17. Should you have reacted differently to their actions?

18. If so, what should you do in the future? How should you react to their actions?

Did you forgive yourself or others for any wrongdoings today?

1. What action did you take to forgive yourself or the other person?

2. How did this make you feel?

Did you take time to Laugh/Play today?

1. What made you laugh?

2. What did you play with?

What healthy food did you eat today?

Did you spend some time meditating today?

What do you intend to do tonight before you go to bed to create a positive atmosphere for sleeping well?

1. Is this a normal thing you do each night, or is this something new?

2. Does it bring about peace and relaxation to your mind and body before going to bed?

3. If this is a new action, don’t forget to discuss it in tomorrow’s journal notes.

Actions you took the night before to help you relax and sleep well.

1. Did the action you took last night help or hinder your sleep?

2. Should this action continue? Or, should you find a more positive action to take?

3. Is there something you would like to try at night to get better rest?

4. Have you researched other options?

   1. Binaural beets

   2. Meditation/Prayers

   3. Warm tea

   4. Chakra cleansing

   5. Singing bowls

   6. Hot bath

   7. Slow Yoga, tai chi, etc.

   8. Self-Massage

   9. Positive visualizations

   10. Positive Mantras

   11. Deep breathing

   12. All of the above

JOURNALING FOR KIDS

Starting your kids out early on journaling can benefit them in many ways as adults and can help them to stop and think about their actions as well.

You can create a checkoff list for your children as well. Kids can write about their behaviors. Writing about your daily behaviors can help you recognize what you do to others and how you react to certain situations. Which in turn can bring about positive changes in your life or your child's life.

Here is a small check-off list I have compiled for my kids. They check off the items listed in an app. I use Microsoft To do list at the bottom of the checkoff list is a section for details where they can discuss the actions they checked off for the day. The bad behavior list helps them see what they do to others and they come up with ways to prevent them from happening again. The Good behavior list helps them see what they do on a daily basis and helps them increase those behaviors. Now, they enjoy creating stories and writing about all kinds of things, not just writing about their daily lives and checking off in their journals.

Here are just a few things you can put on your check list. Make it your own. In the beginning you have to ask yourself; Did I do.... Was I ....

Bad Behavior List: Good Behavior List:

• Fight * Compliment someone

• Argue * Be Creative

• Dirty Looks * Helpful

• Tone of Voice * Polite

• Ignoring * Responsible

• Complaining * Respectful

• Negative talk * Kind

• Disrespectful * Listening

• Flat Mean * Thank You- Yes/No Ma'am/Sir

JOURNALING FOR TEENS

By the time they become teens, they have already got the idea of how to journal down and can move forward into including more and more of their ideas, study materials, etc. Not to mention it can be a great form of release of emotions for our teens as they go through so many changes in life. Between chemical changes in the body, physical changes, friendship changes, school changes, etc. etc. Teens have a lot to deal with and if they already have the journaling thing down well, they can focus better on finding ways to cope with these new changes and emotions they are going through. However you choose to journal, it is up to you. So go grab an empty journal book that you connect with or download an app that you feel you can work with, or both for that matter and go get to being creative. Make it fun, make it yours, make it personal.

Pretending

Everyone pretends from time to time. It can be fun; however, it can also be destructive, not only to other people but to ourselves.

For example, we dress up for Halloween, we pretend to be something we are not and then we go home and we take off the make-up and go back to our normal daily lives.

For Christmas, often parents either take their children to have their picture taken with Santa clause or they themselves dress -up as Santa. It's fun for everyone... Usually, LOL

We dress up as the Easter Bunny, we even take our kids to theme parks and see all the people there dressed up in different costumes, several events throughout the world depict people pretending and dressing up in their favorite characters suits. My daughter is one of those people. I often come home to find her in a costume of her favorite character, bunny ears, tail, and sometimes make-up. She loves to pretend to be her favorite character.

These are the good times, the love, the laughter, joy and all those fun memories.

Unfortunately, there is a dark side to pretending too. Some people pretend to be something they are not and all they do is put on a happy face, give a fake laugh, a fake hug, a fake conversation, pick up a Bible, pretend to pray, walk into a church, etc.

People with depression often hide the pain they feel with a fake smile. All the while they hurt deep down inside. Others pretend to be good on the day of church and in the church and come home to return to be the true person they are. They hide the alcohol, the drugs, and whatever when the preacher and his wife or others from the church come for a visit. This behavior is no different than dressing up, just without the costume. It serves the same purpose, we pretend to be something we are not, we try to make others think we are the actual characters we play. On soap operas, one of my favorite sayings was, "I only play a doctor on TV". All too often we see these characters on tv so often we begin to believe these people are actually as the people they portray on the screen, without ever thinking they are just playing a part. That's not how they are at home or on a daily basis. Some actors are so good and loveable and in reality, they are treating the other actors and people they work with very disrespectfully. Other times, some actors are hated on the screen and loved off screen.

The point here is that people can pretend all day every day, at the end of the day, their true colors (who they truly are) or how they truly feel, will always come shining through at some point. Take depression for example. Depression can be seen at home as anger, crying, sleeping more than usual, increased or decreased food intake, alcohol, drugs, etc. How people "deal" with their depression can come out in many different forms at home. In fact, some people may even "get away" by focusing all their time reading, playing games, even cooking excessively, the signs and the forms people use to "get away" can be numerous. Anything that is in excess to remove themselves from dealing with a problem can be used to "help" them deal with their problems and depression. Speaking with a qualified therapist may help them discover what the root cause of their depression is and find healthy ways to deal with the actual problem to help that person resolve the problem at hand and relieve the depression they have been going through.

Now, on the other hand, as we speak of those that would be considered hypocrites, these are the people we may see in church on Sunday, reading their Bibles and telling everyone they are a Christian woman or man and trying to convince as many people as they can they are good people. However, on further examination what you find is that once out of church they are in fact speaking ill of others, gossiping, making fun of others, conniving to do harm to others, lying, etc. All the things they tell others are wrong to do, they themselves are doing behind closed doors. You can't always trust what you are told or what you see or hear. As the Edgar Allan Poe saying goes, "Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear". This also reminds me of another saying I hold dear and speak of often, "Birds of a feather will flock together".

All too often we find that when one recognizes one person's actions, we find that the people they keep company with or the people that flock to them are acting and speaking in the same manner too. Be mindful of the company that you keep.

TAKE AWAY

These are only two examples of the ways people pretend on a daily basis. There are several ways people pretend, several reasons why they pretend, and several ways to resolve the issues. The bottom line here is that we need to recognize this pattern of behavior within ourselves or in others and help those in need. Consistent pretending is an unhealthy defense mechanism. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you must pretend all the time for one reason or another and you feel you wish to resolve this issue, contact a therapist and discuss these issues and relieve yourself of the stress and anguish pretending is causing you. You can learn to love life as the person you are, let go of the past that is causing the pretending and live a full and happy life.

The Different Types Of Narcissistic Behavior And How To Respond To Them

Updated 1-9-2023 by Altura Natural living & Wellness Center

Common Characteristics of narcissism include a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, and a need for control. Knowing how to respond to these people can be challenging. If someone in your life displays narcissistic qualities, diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or not, you can learn to take steps to respond to them and protect yourself.

Narcissism Vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

First, let's explain that there is a difference between narcissistic behaviors and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Someone with the personality trait will occasionally show signs of these tendencies. However, a person with NPD has a clinical mental health condition that can affect their daily functioning. Someone with a narcissistic personality disorder may show some or all of the symptoms listed below.

• An exaggerated sense of self-importance

• A pervasive sense of arrogance

• A need for excessive admiration

• Not hesitating to take advantage of people to get what they want

• Dreams of being dominant over or better than others

• A sense of entitlement

• Failing to understand or consider the needs or emotions of others

• Feelings of superiority

Only a mental health professional can diagnose someone with NPD. However, there are a few signs you might be able to spot that could indicate a person has narcissistic tendencies.

The person may have the ability to take accountability for their actions and cultivate loving relationships. Someone with clinical NPD will typically show symptoms more often than not, and it will be pervasive over time. Someone with narcissistic personality traits may show symptoms in some situations or at some times, but not at all in others. There is typically a high need for control over situations and/or another person or another’s decisions.

Types Of Narcissism

The most recent research classifies narcissism into two types: grandiose and vulnerable. It is important to recognize that there are common traits among both types. These traits include a sense of entitlement, a disregard for the feelings and needs of others, and a sense of self-centeredness.

Grandiose Narcissism

Grandiose narcissists tend to have an inflated self-image and higher than normal self-esteem. They often feel a deep need to be admired, and their sense of entitlement leads them to expect it. They may have no trouble exploiting others to get what they want or need. Although they may appear to have an inflated self-image and higher than normal self-esteem, the underlying issue is most likely a true low self-esteem being covered up by the show of high self-esteem. They also have a tendency to break down others to build themselves up or prove that they are better than the other person. They show no signs of empathy when it comes to getting what they want. In other words, they don’t seem to care how much pain or anguish they cause another when they don’t get their way..

Vulnerable Narcissism

Vulnerable narcissism manifests very differently. The vulnerable narcissist is very insecure, defensive, and hypersensitive. Vulnerable narcissists have low self-esteem. This can result in avoidance or anger and hostility. This person may lash out at others or sneak around and do things to cause another pain. They are typically unable to accept being told no or accept that they are wrong in any way. They may avoid conversations out of the fear of being seen as wrong.

Responding To A Narcissist

Firstly, if you’re experiencing any type of abuse, you have the right to defend yourself by leaving the relationship and/or seeking help.

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse of any kind, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

Set Boundaries

Be aware that someone with narcissistic tendencies or NPD will have a tendency to put themselves first and prioritize their needs over yours. They seem to not even care about what you need or want. You must set boundaries to defend yourself and your needs.

Take time out for yourself. Remove yourself from the person or situation and sit alone for a bit. Meditate, breathe, go for a walk, even a long bathroom break can be helpful in a situation when you can find no space of your own. Do this on a regular basis, and carve out a set time for yourself if you can. For example, set aside a specific time to go for walks, exercise, craft, read, meditate, or whatever form of “me time” you have chosen. Secondly, you can attempt to ask the person to please not push back when you say no to something, or they attempt to prevent you from taking your time alone. Be prepared for them to try and change your mind or convince you that the lines you’re drawing are unreasonable, and do your best to stand firm.

Do NOT Accept or Allow Negativity

A person exhibiting narcissistic traits may blame you for their own actions or project their insecurities on you. They have a tendency to blame others when things don’t go their way. Don’t be surprised if they attempt to blame you or tell you that you are being unreasonable. They will try to manipulate you or make you feel that you are in the wrong for taking care of yourself and/or your needs rather than doing what they want you to do. By anticipating these possibilities, you can be prepared to ignore them, let them roll off your back and most importantly, not internalizing them.

Don’t Take It Personally

Remember, people with the clinical condition of NPD have a mental health disorder that they have no control over. They will most likely resist any idea or suggestion of seeking help. Remember, they do not believe there is anything wrong with them or that they are doing anything wrong. This can mean that their behaviors may not change. While some of their actions may feel like a personal attack on you or a criticism of you, they may not be. On the other hand, in some cases they may be exactly that. They may intentionally want to harm you in order to regain control over you or a situation to get what they want. Remembering that it’s the condition talking and continuing to take measures to defending yourself will generally be key. Again, remember that if you’re experiencing abuse, and they are purposely attacking you for their gain, you have the right to exit the situation or relationship.

Cultivate Healthy Self-Esteem

Dealing with a narcissistic person on a regular basis can take a toll on you. They might wear you down in order to build themselves up, and constant criticism or pushback on your boundaries can cause you to doubt yourself. Working to build your own sense of confidence and self-worth can help you defend your mental health. A healthy sense of self-esteem correlates with “success and well-being in life domains such as relationships, work, and health”, so the benefits can be far-reaching. Some ways to work on building self-esteem include doing mindfulness meditation, saying daily affirmations, setting and reaching achievable goals, and starting therapy.

Connect With A Therapist

Working with a therapist can be a helpful tool for those who regularly interact with someone who exhibits narcissistic behaviors. They can provide a neutral, third-party perspective, help you build your self-esteem and communication skills, and assist you in setting boundaries to keep yourself safe and healthy. If you prefer to access this kind of treatment from the comfort of your own home, consider an online therapy platform like Altura Natural Living Health & Wellness Center. Since research suggests that virtual therapy offers similar benefits to in-person sessions, this format is a viable option for those who prefer it for comfort, accessibility, or cost-effectiveness.

Takeaway

Having a person in your life who exhibits narcissistic behaviors—whether it’s a personality trait or a clinical disorder—can be challenging. The tips in this article can help you preserve your own energy and mental health when interacting with them.